it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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