margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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