I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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