i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
