Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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