i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
