I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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