there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Boobs are out for the taking
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
