I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
