did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
