As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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