I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
