pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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