My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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