i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
