im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
