In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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