New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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