Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
