We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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