I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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