jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
