Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
