Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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