rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
