This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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