it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
