Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
MIDGETS
????
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
