OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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