Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
