soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
