Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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