is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
