Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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