I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
