I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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