it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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