I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
