you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
