Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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