I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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