exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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