wanna go halves on a baby?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
