you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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