i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
