apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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