Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
