You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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