I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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