This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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